Tuesday, 29 October 2013

This post brought to you by frustration, bad light, and Vogue's newest pattern release

Frustration: I wanted to do a magazine review of both the recent Burda Style Special: Classics magazine AND Burda 11/2013, but I can't, because they haven't turned up at my house yet. :| I think the Classics magazine may have gone missing altogether because it was allegedly posted to me 18 days ago and has never arrived. :| I am not very happy, particularly since my newsagent is deathly silent on the matter and hasn't responded to my WHERE IS MY MAGAZINE enquiry.

Bad light: I have, however, been sewing! Unfortunately both of the things that I've finished are waiting for a day when the light is decent and I have enough time to take photographs. For now, all I will reveal is that I have successfully made one top and one dress (!) and further details will be with you soon!

In the meantime, what I can do is mock Vogue's new pattern releases. At this time of the year, of course, all the pattern releases are either full of party dresses for the Christmas season and crafty shit and PJ patterns to make for home-made gifts (of which I am making exactly NONE this year, sorry family). Vogue, not being much for the crafty/PJ stuff, is mainly party dresses, and also a bunch of winter-ish separates, none of which really grabbed me.

The one thing I might conceivably consider buying is actually a Marcy Tilton pattern, which is probably the first and last time you will ever see me say that. I have to admit that normally I am utterly cold to MT patterns, mainly because so many of them look like the clothing equivalent of a scrap quilt. However, I am weirdly in favour of V8954, a loose fitting jacket thing, especially in view C, below. When I say "consider buying" though, what I really mean is "feel vaguely positive about but never actually buy, because it's in no way worth £10+ to me".


As if to make up for producing something I actually like, the other Marcy Tilton pattern in this release is the world's most ridiculous hat collection. The most hilarifying (hilarious + terrifying = hilarifying) is this one, which looks like the crust of a mediaeval pork pie to me:

The other pattern a lot of people were getting excited by is this wrap top/skinny trouser pattern, V1378, but I have to admit I feel like Burda has done similar trousers about 20 times in the last 2 years, so I am unenthused (and never wear skinny anything anyway).

And finally, the WORST PATTERN IN THE WORLD, and the reason all these designers so desperate to take us back to the 1980s in fashion should GO AWAY, is this skirt and top ensemble made seemingly from bin bags, V1327.

The skirt alone is hugely unflattering, but when you add the top! Just. Why? The no doubt very thin model is swamped in it and looks like a pinhead because of the difference between the apparent volume of her body and the size of her head. Just, ugh, why? This is on top of the 80s style fishtail dress and boxy coats. Dear fashion world: nobody wants these trends. Make them go away.

The other thing I can do is look forward with extreme glee to the Dublin Knitting and Stitching Show, which I am planning to attend this Friday! \o/ I am going with a strict budget and a shopping list, outside of which I may not deviate. I will no doubt report back with my spoils at the weekend. :D

10 comments:

  1. Wah wah! Such a funny post!
    Looking forward to hearing about the Kn&St Show! I am sure you'll have a great time.

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    1. I wanted so much to go the one in Harrogate last year but I was ill at the time and couldn't go. I am so glad it comes to Dublin! :D

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  2. That Vogue 1327 is horrific!
    I'm also really looking forward to the knitting and stitching show. I'm working on Friday so I have to wait until Saturday, boo!

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    1. Isn't it grim! Look instantly 18 times bigger than you really are, with no effort! D:

      That whole gainful employment thing is a pain in the ass. :( I am super excited to go to the show and am planning to head there Friday morning about when it opens, on the grounds that it might be less busy about then. Do come back and tell me what you bought after you have been! :D :D

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  3. Got to say the Vogue releases are appalling - love your description of garbage bins - very appropriate.

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    1. I can't say I ever find much in the Vogue collections that I like or would want to buy, to be honest. That black outfit though is something else. It's not even a nice length!

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  4. Yes to most of your post! The hats-gack!

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    1. The hats are almost endearingly ugly, they are so terrible.

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  5. I will have you know that we would have hated V1327 just as much in the 80's! I know, I was there. Seriously I think this has to be one of the fugliest patterns of all time. It does not have one redeeming quality. NOT. ONE.

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    1. Not even HALF of a redeeming quality. You can't even say like, well, the two pieces might be better worn separately or something, because no, they are both TERRIBLE. Even the length of the skirt is unflattering. Ugh. I think you're right though, even in the midst of the over-sized 80s with the giant puffed sleeves and boxy everything, I doubt people would have been excited by that outfit. Nobody EVER wants to wear garbage bags, Vogue.

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